Qanon is so last year! Try our new rabbit-hole–GLUEanon!

We hereby announce that a new Secretive Patriot has replaced "Q"! He...or is it a she? Or a they? ...is called GLUE. And is presenting the REAL SECRETS of America, through GLUEanon. GLUEanon's slogan is "Sniff GLUEanon!"

WHO is the GLUE of GLUEanon? Is it a heroic human being who--like "Q"-- is too cowardly to come forward? Or is he/she/it an AI? An artificial intelligence who is also a Patriot? Or is GLUE someone marketing adhesives?

What matters is the "information" that GLUE provides. It's fresher, and just as deliciously improbable as the "information" that Q spews. Here are some examples:

GLUEanon has learned, through GLUE's secret contacts, that Certain Powerful persons have been raising giant human-rabbit hybrids, trying to make Playboy bunnies literal, and they've been having sex with them in a basement under a Pizza Parlor in Washington DC! Matt Gaetz is deeply involved in this, and has been seen furtively brushing rabbit fur from his trouser crotch, as he exits a pizza parlor near the US Capitol building! Talk about "going down the rabbit hole"! "Sniff GLUEanon!"

GLUEanon warns that Congress, both GOP and Dems, and the Pentagon, is having secret meetings to plan an INVASION OF CANADA. Tanks and troops are being secretly built up along America's border with Canada for a planned "blitzkrieg" style drive across the border! There are plans for giant work camps for Canadians, wherein they will be forced to build cheap products for American corporations and will be paid nothing--except they will be rewarded with free beer and standard Canadian beverages: water towers filled with Moosehead beer, and others filled with caffeinated maple syrup. Their food will be primarily poutine (a Canadian dish of french fries and cheese curds topped with a brown gravy.) On holidays they will be given Canadian bacon...made from recalcitrant Canadians. "Sniff GLUEanon!"

GLUEanon predicts that the next President will be chosen BY LOTTERY and so will all members of the President's cabinet. The Lottery tickets will only be sold to people in mental hospitals in Florida, Mississippi, Arizona, Arkansas, Missouri, and Alabama! "Sniff GLUEanon!"

GLUE and SNIFF are also acronyms, we're told. But--for what? We'll be announcing what they stand for in the near future. Or perhaps you already know? Perhaps GLUEanon has revealed the secret to you? Tell us, on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook! And remind people to ...

"Sniff GLUEanon!"